Cute Boots, Good Friends—and Where Are We Going Again?

The group has agreed on three things: we’re going out, we deserve it, and somebody needs to decide where.

Nobody has volunteered for that last position.

The boots are selected. The earrings have survived two rounds of judging. One woman has already checked the menu at a restaurant nobody suggested.

We have outfits for this evening. What we do not have is an evening.

And yet, somehow, this is already a girls’ night out.

First, we must establish what “going out” means

“I thought we could do something casual.”

A lovely suggestion. Unfortunately, casual has several regional dialects, including:

Dinner in jeans.

Live music in the good jeans.

An appetizer somewhere with flattering lighting.

Or sitting on somebody’s patio, which sounds wonderful until everyone remembers the temperature drops after sunset and nobody knows whether the outdoor heaters work.

One friend is picturing a little restaurant where you can hear each other talk. Another wants music. A third says she’s happy with anything.

She means it, too.

Until someone suggests the place with the tiny parking lot.

“Well. Anything except there.”

Fair enough. A girls’ night should involve a little adventure, but reversing between a pickup truck and a concrete planter does not have to be part of the entertainment.

“What are y’all wearing?” opens a second meeting

At some point, somebody asks the question.

Not where we’re going. That remains a developing situation.

What are we wearing?

“Just jeans and a cute top.”

This answer has never once provided the amount of information requested.

Which jeans? How cute? Are we talking a sweatshirt with earrings, or a blouse that requires the special bra currently in an undisclosed location?

Then a picture arrives.

It shows approximately one shoulder, the corner of a mirror, and a laundry basket everyone politely agrees not to notice.

“Is this too much?”

We cannot see enough of it to know. But the earrings look promising.

Another friend sends a full outfit photo. Boots. Jewelry. Jacket. A small handbag suggesting she will not be carrying anyone else’s belongings tonight.

A boundary has been established.

Suddenly, “just jeans” has become a more sophisticated undertaking.

For the record, you do not need a new outfit to have a good night—these quick outfit ideas from your closet are a useful place to start. Wear something you like, shoes you can comfortably manage, and a layer if you’ll need one.

The friendship does not require a wardrobe change.

Although it may require somebody to answer whether we’re eating inside.

Somebody has already read the menu

Every group benefits from a woman who checks the menu before arrival.

This is preparation. This is leadership. This is how you avoid spending the first twenty minutes at the table pretending you’re still deciding when you actually want to know whether the fries come with the sandwich.

She knows the appetizers. She has inspected the drink options. She has discovered that the patio is dog-friendly, which was not a requirement but has improved her opinion of the establishment.

Then somebody asks, “What about that other place?”

She quietly closes seven browser tabs.

She will recover. But give her a moment. She had developed feelings for the loaded potatoes.

Meanwhile, another friend announces she already ate.

“Oh, I’m not hungry.”

Perfectly fine.

“I could probably split something.”

Of course.

“Do they have chips?”

And just like that, we’re back in business.

Nobody needs to arrive with an identical appetite. A quick “full dinner or snacks?” can settle more than another forty restaurant suggestions.

Especially if someone is currently standing in her kitchen eating crackers while waiting for us to decide.

“I’m leaving now” is a statement of intent

There are several stages of leaving.

Finding the keys.

Finding the lip color you had in your hand eleven seconds ago.

Putting the lip color in your bag.

Discovering the keys under the bag.

Remembering you wanted to change earrings.

This is why “I’m leaving now” can occasionally mean “I have emotionally committed to approaching the door.”

Then comes the message:

“Here!”

Here where?

The restaurant? Your house? The general concept of the evening?

A location is supplied. Progress.

If you’re meeting somewhere busy, agree on the actual entrance or pickup spot. “Out front” becomes surprisingly poetic when a building has three doors and everyone is looking at a different one.

And if alcohol is part of the plan, sort out the ride before the first drink. Nobody should have to conduct transportation negotiations over the last mozzarella stick.

Eventually, somebody makes the decision

There comes a point when one woman gently takes control.

“Okay. Dinner at seven. I’ll book it.”

There she is.

Our evening’s founding mother.

Nobody needs her to find the greatest restaurant in the continental United States. We just need somewhere suitable, a time, and a reasonable chance of sitting down.

A useful little formula: offer two places, give everyone a deadline to choose, and then make the plan.

Not twelve places.

Twelve places is a reading assignment.

If you’re the one organizing, it’s also perfectly reasonable to say, “I can make the reservation, but somebody else needs to handle the ride.”

You’re arranging a night with friends, not opening a regional events company.

And the first person who says, “Whatever you pick is fine,” can contribute by meaning it.

A beautiful gift. No wrapping required.

Then you finally sit down

The bags find a chair.

The jackets come off.

Someone says, “Look how cute everybody looks,” and means it in the generous way good friends do.

You order. Somebody remembers a story she has been saving specifically for this table.

“Okay, I couldn’t put all this in a text.”

Everyone leans in.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

The conversation takes a turn nobody could have planned. A perfectly ordinary detail becomes the funniest thing anybody has heard all week. Someone laughs before she can finish her sentence, which makes the rest of the table laugh, which means the sentence may never get finished.

The boots are under the table. Nobody is thinking about whether the top was too much.

Even the menu researcher is happy.

Her potatoes have arrived.

The best part usually wasn’t on the itinerary

Maybe you end up hearing a little live music.

Maybe you linger over dessert.

Maybe the weather is lovely and you take the long way back to the car, still talking, stopping twice because somebody cannot walk and finish the story at the same time.

Or maybe everyone is ready to head home at a sensible hour.

A good girls’ night does not have to prove it was a good girls’ night by continuing until nobody wants to be there.

You can enjoy yourself thoroughly and still be delighted to see your pajamas.

Those feelings are allowed to coexist.

The evening also doesn’t need an expensive reservation or a spectacular backdrop. Pick somewhere that works for the group’s budgets, comfort, and energy. There is plenty of room for a small, easy outing, including these inexpensive things to do with friends.

The point was getting together.

All the negotiations were simply how we got there.

One picture before we go

Naturally, we should take a photograph.

Just one.

The first has somebody blinking. The second is excellent, except the photographer has accidentally included mostly ceiling.

Then a stranger kindly offers to help, and everyone suddenly forgets what to do with her arms.

Eventually, there is a picture everyone likes well enough.

That will do.

You don’t need to document the entire evening to keep it. Some of the best parts are the stories you’ll bring up next time.

“Remember when we couldn’t decide where to go?”

Yes, honey.

We have the messages.

From Michelle and the women at Envy Stylz

Michelle Engelhardt and the women at her boutique are partial to clothes that let you enjoy the night: a favorite tee, a layer for the ride home, or earrings that feel a little dressed up. The good company is the part you bring.

Michelle Engelhardt and the women at Envy Stylz Boutique appreciate an outfit that makes you feel like yourself—and the friends who are glad you showed up in it.

If you feel like adding a little personality to an outfit you already love, come browse our boutique accessories. You can also get to know Michelle and the women behind Envy.

Wear the boots if you love them. Choose the comfortable shoes if you’ll enjoy the night more. Bring the layer.

And when someone says, “We need to do this more often,” go ahead and pick the next date.

The restaurant can be tomorrow’s problem.